While Alaafin and his four wives shop in London, his “people” gossip about them
But then Westfield Mall is no small fry. The Mall, according to Wikipedia, “is one of the largest urban shopping centres in Europe. It is the third-largest shopping centre in the United Kingdom by retail space behind the Metro Centre and the Trafford Centre. Taking the surrounding shopping area into account, it is the largest urban shopping centre in the European Union in terms of size.” Now it can be added to its rich profile that An African Oba was here with his four wives.
Sashaying through the exotic Westfield Mall stores, Alaafin and his four wives caused a stir. A big stir! Why not? It is not often, in fact, it is has never been seen nor heard before that a 76-year-old African king, one of the oldest monarchs in the world, visited a London shopping mall with gorgeous, dazzling young damsels-wives, all in matching Adire attire.
So it is understandable that the sight of Alaafin with his young wives had to raise few wild eyebrows. Nigerians, who easily recognised the “August visitors,” like the popular London DJ Abass, courtesied; kabiyesi o! And some curious Londoners and tourists turned paparazzi, taking quick photos. They were apparently amused by a 76-year-old man flaunting his four young, tantalising wives in Queen’s own land that frowns at polygamy. Later back home or among friends, they would show off the photos, they would have a laugh together at the Alaafin’s expense.
Well, the concern of Xclusive Magazine here is not necessarily about Alaafin having multiple wives. Or why he was showing them off and showcasing African culture of polygamy in an exotic London shopping mall. Or why he chose far away London to mark his 76th birthday rather than in his opulent palace. That’s neither our concern nor our business! Xclusive Magazine is only interested in gossips trending on social media. So while Alaafin was on a splurge with his wives at Westfield shopping mall, below are what his “people” were saying behind his back:
Coming to London: the Movie
Commentators on social media liken the cameo appearance of the Alaafin and his four wives at the Westfield to a romantic comedy film, shown to the world just for them to have a laugh at us. Roy Chikwem, Project Manager at British Council, describes it as a scene out of Eddie Murphy’s Coming to America. Hahaha!
For those of you who have not watched the film or were too young then, this is what the film is all about. Sorry, we are too lazy to write an original review, so we just copied this review from rottentomatoes.com:
Coming to America casts comedian Eddie Murphy as pampered African prince Akeem, who rebels against an arranged marriage and heads to America to find a new bride. Murphy’s regal father (James Earl Jones) agrees to allow the prince 40 days to roam the U.S., sending the prince’s faithful retainer Semmi (Arsenio Hall) along to make sure nothing untoward happens. To avoid fortune hunters, Prince Akeem conceals his true identity and gets a “Joe job” at a fast-food restaurant. Murphy and Hall play multiple roles, and there are innumerable celebrity cameos peppered throughout the proceedings — including the Duke Brothers (Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy) from Trading Places.”
But Alaafin and his harem did not go to America; they went to London. And London was not and is not in America. so it is mischievous to regard Alaafin’s cameo appearance at the Westfield mall as a movie, a hilarious comedy. Here in Xclusive Magazine, we think that the Alaafin’s royal visit to London with his gorgeous wives should not be reduced to a joking matter. However, for a Nollywood producer looking for his next box-office home video, and wants to use the Alaafin and his four wives as source-material for a hilarious scene, Coming to London would be a more suitable title.
His taste in women
Social media commentators agree that when it comes to picking his women the Alaafin has a fine knack, and a very good taste too. His four wives, they say, are pretty, very pretty. But they are also very young – all of them young enough to be his daughter. Nelly writes on Bella Naija’s comment page, “I feel like I’m in alternate universe. One of his daughters, Taibat, is older than all these women. Just look at the chubby cheeked baby. She doesn’t look a day older than 18.” Some other commentators observe in one of the London photos that this youngest of the lot is looking lost, scared and confused even. But all the commentators, including those on Linda Ikeji‘s blog, agree that Alaafin’s four wives are up-to-date. They have tattoos. Wow! Tattoo! A commentator on Bella Naija Blog claims that Alaafin’s wives are also on instagram, and connected with one another. The monarch may be seen by many as traditionally conservative, but Alaafin’s damsels have indeed given it a modern face!
Yellow Fever, You dey bleach o you dey bleach
We borrowed this Fela’s song to sum up the general view of the social media commentators. They observe that the Alaafin has a taste for fair complexion women, noting that all his four wives are light skinned or, bleached skin. Omalichaspeaks, on Bella Naija’s comment page, observes that “Oba obviously has a thing for light skinned women.” A position that Baboushka, another commentator endorses: “It’s like his wife material is measured by how yellow you are or willing to be na wah o!” While some choose their words carefully, bruno is upfront: “Did this people soak themselves inside Jik, I know a carowhite user when I see one. Shameful,” which makes Jerry to wonder: “All this yellow. Dencia’s business must be booming!”
Taking the young horse on/for a ride
As a 76-year-old man, they question, can Alaafin still perform his marital duties? Or putting it differently, Tricia George posts on Facebook, does he still have the energy to “ride dis young horses?” Tricia’s main worry is that the Alaafin’s possible inability to “ride” can cause the horse to derail. “@76 how many or which of dem … boast of bin faithful?”
Boyo Chuks shares Tricia’s sentiments. He writes: “dis baba no fit power dis young women…..i no just understand…” But rather than see it from the angle of Alaafin’s ability or inability to keep these women “engaged,” Jay Ola, in response to Boyo’s comment, see things rather in economic terms: “Tis a case of opportunity cost o. The girls’ greed brought them to this level. Whether he performs or not, that’s wat they chosen to forego for a Big girl’s lifestyle.”
As far as Jay is concern, therefore, the wives have no choice but to remain very faithful: “U don’t cheat on a person like this after all the rituals, u the CHEATER and ur CHEATEE would be frog-jumping or somersaulting all thru the nite until u confess ur sins to the CHEATED b4 u re delivered.” In other words, we speculate, the fear of magun is the beginning of wisdom!
A family that bleaches together, stays together
While we were thinking that Jay was on the side of the Alaafin, he posted this masterstroke: “And these 4 are probably the last set there would be other wives in the palace too old to bring out for show offs like this. So to know the actual number of wives, u need a calculator.” Can you imagine? You mean the Oba has more wives than you can count on your fingers?
I think that all these social media commentators are jealous of these gorgeous women for marrying into Royalty. Moreover, they are happy in the marriage until they tell us otherwise. So let’s just take it that they are in a successful marriage. And the secret to the success of their marriage, a Bella Naija commentator insists, is not shopping, but the bleaching: “A fomilik that bleash tohgedah stays tohgedah.” Subtitles: A family that bleaches together, stays together.”